I know my story is crazy. I just wanted to remind y’all before we keep going.
The next episode of my story marks the beginning of my family’s calling to Japan. It’s an entirely new chapter of my life– it’s almost as though all the episodes leading up to this point are the prequel, or “origin story.”
But before I continue, I need to assure you (as if you needed assurance) that my experiences with God are not “normal.” Hearing voices, having dreams that come true, seeing signs, and battling demons are not “normal” for everyone, even if you’re a follower of Jesus. Yes, the Bible describes these things as being the work of the Holy Spirit, but it also says in 1 Corinthians 12 that we are all different parts of one body, each one designed and gifted to perform a unique function.
The gifts of the Holy Spirit are distributed by God as He determines (1 Cor. 12:4-6), and, more importantly, they are given for the common good (v. 7). Whatever gifts I’ve been given are not meant for myself– they aren’t meant to make me look superhuman or super-spiritual, because, trust me, I am neither– they are meant for the benefit of the church. Look back at my story and we’ll see how God was using unusual, supernatural experiences to grab my attention and set me on track to serve the church. There were times God would “speak” to me in dramatic ways, such as the dream about meeting my wife or the voice calling me to ministry, but these were few and far between. Most of the time, I didn’t “hear” anything from God and was left to proceed with no clear sense of direction, like the time I returned from Bangkok and didn’t understand what God wanted me to do next.
Lately, I’ve been meeting with people who have been feeling stuck because they’re waiting for God to tell them what to do. Not everyone gets a dramatic sign– as I mentioned in a previous post, “hearing” (perhaps “discerning” is a better word). God’s voice is somewhat like a GPS device: sometimes, you hear directions to turn left or right, but when you don’t hear anything, it means you keep moving forward, trusting that God will direct you when He needs to.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:5-6). My paraphrase: trust in God, even when you don’t know what’s going on. As long as you’re surrendered to Him, He will direct your course.
A GPS is useless if you don’t start moving.
God can only direct you if you trust Him and keep moving.
So why do I get to experience the crazy things that I do while other Christians might not? It’s not because I’m better or have more faith than anyone. If anything, it’s because I didn’t have much faith that God resorted to means that would capture my attention. I tried for decades to avoid Christianity, which I thought was the religion of hypocritical bigots (recent events in the world remind me why I had this stereotype in mind, but that’s material for a different blog), but all the while, my heart sought after God, and in His mercy, He revealed Himself to me.
I started to believe because of my experiences with God, but this might make me less blessed.
When the resurrected Jesus appeared to His disciples, Thomas didn’t believe them, and he wouldn’t, until he personally saw and touched the wounds in Jesus’ hands and side (John 20: 24-28). Jesus then told Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
If you have never had any sort of supernatural experience– a revelation by dream, sign, voice, or vision– but have faith in Jesus as the Lord, you are blessed because you believe by faith, not by sight. Some of the godliest people I know have not had experiences like mine, and conversely, some of the most spiritually gifted people I’ve met don’t necessarily have the most Christ-like character. Gifts are not earned, after all– they’re given by God’s grace as He determines, for His purposes. This is why the word charismatic refers to charisma, or “gifts of grace.”
This means that chumps like me might get dreams directing me to the next phase of ministry, while my wife, who is far more Christ-like than I am, might rarely have any sort of charismatic experiences, but is kinder, more generous, more patient, more gentle, and more loving than I am.
And, as 1 Corinthians 12:31 shows us, there is a greater, more excellent way than having spiritual gifts.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-3 NRSV)
By sending us to Japan, God would show me what this looks like in day-to-day life.
2 Comments
I am in agreement with your words about your wife. She is amazing woman of faith who is gentle, kind and loving.